Sunday, November 11, 2018

Struggles with PTSD

Complex PTSD.

Major Depressive Disorder.

Binge Eating Disorder.

Black and white ways to describe my struggles. On one hand, an assurance that I'm not just crazy, on the other hand, cold, clinical terms that tell me I kinda am. I am a paramedic who cannot work. An empathetic person who hates everything and everyone. A fitness lover who can't stop eating. Who I was has been crushed and replaced with a bitter, cynical shell that I barely recognize. I have been assured there is light at the end of the tunnel, but right now I'm pretty sure it's a train. I am working on finding myself again, on finding joy and peace in life, but it has not been easy.