The calls I find the most challenging, personally and emotionally, are ones involving domestic violence. I find it extremely difficult to understand why a woman would stay in a position where she was repeatedly beaten. Theoretically, I know the reasons; cycle of abuse, substance use, mental health issues, etc., etc., but I simply cannot understand it.
One woman, with visible hand marks around her throat, started screaming at my partner when he pointed them out, about how rude he was to say such things. She quite literally kicked us out of her apartment, refusing medical care, and refused to tell the police where he had fled.
Another, almost child-like in her laughter and innocent eyes, refused to believe that her relationship consisted of anything but true love, extolling the many virtues of her man while her face swelled before my eyes. "I woke him up and made him angry, it was my fault." "He's hit me before, but he really does love me. I just annoy him sometimes". This poor woman would not or could not see that she was not to blame for his behaviour, and I found it extremely difficult to sit and listen to her on the way to the hospital with ever-increasing rage towards this man building inside me.
I simply cannot understand that mentality. I have tried and tried, but I just. can't. understand. If I was ever struck or abused, I would be out the door before his bloody corpse hit the floor behind me. I am ever-so-blessed to have a wonderful, gentle, compassionate husband and it is not even remotely a concern for me, even considering the idea is preposterous. I sincerely wish that every woman had a man like that, and the self-confidence and self-worth to never, ever, tolerate such behaviour. Until then, I apply ice, bandage their wounds and provide a shoulder to cry on. Again and again and again.